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21
Jan

meet The Retar Crew, performers

We’ve worked with many fascinating people over the years, from all walks of life. ‘Meet’ is about sharing a little about these individuals.

Once upon a time, 4 dudes thought it would be cool to form a group called The Retar Crew. G said, “Hey, we should form a group and make an album called ‘The Retar Crew’!” JQ said, “And we should sell it for FREE on a website called ‘theretarcrew.com’!”

Everything we do is free

Jeremiah J. Jackson, Sr. AKA JQ
JQ is a Chicago native who founded the AAEE (Americans Against Eating Eggplant). To the nation of vegetarians who cries blasphemy and calls him a “vegist,” J maintains, “It’s not the taste, it’s a texture thing…plus, it makes the roof of my mouth all itchy.” He is responsible for making the group’s beats and when asked which computer program he uses, he replied, “I use this,” and pulled a Sony Walkman out of his windbreaker, adding, “It’s one of those dope ones, though. It’s got auto-reverse.”

Nancy Von Bittenhard AKA JQ
Former big sister of fellow Retar Crew member JQ, “G” (Gabriella) lives in a trailer and has no real expenses except for his marijuana habit. He would like to add that he purchases all of his weed legally with a medical card which he obtained from a doctor. He was diagnosed with “lack of focus and insomnia– or i don’t know man, i just need to get high, bro. Gimme the fuckin card!”

Percy Ostenbergerstienenbaum AKA PO
P.O. was born and raised in Decatur, Georgia and is the son of a preacher man. Following in his father’s footsteps, but always with his own twist, he changed his name to The Reverend Lionel Freighthoppa and has spent the last three years performing rap sermons to other vagabonds while riding freight trains back and forth between The Dakotas and the pacific northwest.

Jeremiah J. Jackson, Jr. AKA Jackson
Jackson D is from the cornfields of Iowa. At an early age, he was taught that “city folk ain’t to be trifled with” — and that was just referring to folks in Iowa City. Thus began Jackson’s obsession with cities and urban lifestyle, naturally giving him a deep appreciation and love for hip hop. He knew he had to make his way to the big city of Chicago. When he finally arrived, a chance encounter with a high-profile casting director at a downtown newsstand landed him the role of Harriet Tubman in the forthcoming summer blockbuster, Big Action Celebrity Car Chase 3.